Mentoring; The Effects Of Positive Role Models
When I was a child, my parents fought all of the time; it was clear that in my family the two biggest burdens in life were bills and kids. It’s not surprising that I grew up not wanting children.
Whenever any of the couples I knew would tell me they were expecting a child, my initial thought would be “On purpose?” I didn’t know what it was like to want to have a baby.
In March 2000, everything changed. I had just come back from a trip to Australia when my wife broke the news to me - no matter how many pregnancy tests she bought, they all said the same thing. We were having a baby.
Knowing my feelings, she was scared to death. As the months drifted by, I struggled with the idea that I was going to be a dad.
After seeing this, my wife asked a friend of mine, Scott Kelby, to share the joys of fatherhood with me. Scott was my first art director and is one of my best friends. Over the years, I have learned a great deal from him. At the time of this story, I was trying to repay some of that by teaching him how to kick box.
Whenever we worked out we had a cool down period when we went for a walk. One night, he really helped me to see how wonderful it would be to be a father. He taught me so much about being a father and to change my way of thinking.
Scott helped me overcome the negative and adolescent self-talk that had me convinced that children would be too burdensome on my time and finances. Instead, he helped me see that children are the greatest gift a man could ever have. I realize that the births of my sons Alexander and Christopher are in fact the best days of my life.
Deeply affected by the transformation he saw me going through, Scott ended up writing a book called, The Guy’s Book For Guys Who Don’t Want To Be Fathers.
Up until that lesson with Scott, I thought I had a pretty good handle on my self-talk. Through my martial arts training and the influence of my long-distance mentors, like Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins, I learned that my outer world was a reflection of my inner world. I learned that my success was my own responsibility, and that the rest of the world had their own problems and programming to deal with. If it was to be, it was up to me.
The conversations you have with yourself in your mind are the conversations most important to your lifestyle. These conversations fit all fit together to form your thought patterns, which end up forming your behavioral patterns.
http://www.JohnGraden.com/the_impostor_syndrome
http://www.johngraden.com/files/the_impostor_syndrome.php
- John Graden
:: Jul.28.2008 :: 771 ::
